Napoleon Dynamite

Pedro: Who was that?
Napoleon Dynamite: Trisha.
Pedro: Who's she?
Napoleon Dynamite: My woman I'm taking to the dance.
Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes I did.
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Napoleon Dynamite: My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't cause she's doing some modeling right now.
Pedro: Is she hot?
Napoleon Dynamite: See for yourself.
[hands him Deb's glamor shot sample]
Pedro: Wow.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year.
Pedro: I like her bangs.
Napoleon Dynamite: Me too.
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Napoleon Dynamite: [referring to the dance] Who are you gonna ask?
Pedro: That girl over there.
Napoleon Dynamite: Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that?
Pedro: Build her a cake or something.

in the moment

So, last night I was having my quiet time at 1am. I was reading my quiet time material: Calvin and Hobbes- The Days Are Just Packed. And was really asking God for some insight on my weirdly anxious self of recent. I realized so much in this interaction between 6yr old Calvin and his dad.

Calvin: I wish it was winter.
Dad: Well, it wont be for a while yet.
Calvin: Then I wish it was spring or summer.
Dad: You don’t like autumn?
Calvin: Autumn is just fine. It’s the present I don’t like.

Why is it that I long for this day to come and when it does I long for tomorrow? Like the child longing to become a teenager or the teenager yearning to be an adult I find myself in this perpetual wait for tomorrow to arrive. And not just tomorrow but for something other, something that’s not what I have. Its not that I don’t like the present but far to often I get ahead of myself. I want the answers NOW, TODAY. I don’t want to wait or enjoy what I have. What an annoying state to do life in. Whether it be the realization of a dream, relationship dynamics or even just the weekend. I wish I could simply soak in all that is good in the moment. Why is this so hard for me? Why God can I not find the sweetness of contentment with what I have right now, as it is? Why should I always want more and desire what I perceive to be better. Yes, perhaps a 60Gb iPod would be better than a 20Gb iPod but if more NOW were the road to lasting contentment wouldn’t Hollywood be the happiest place on earth? It's amazing how the most joyful person I know has almost nothing and wants and asks for nothing more than just the day to love people and God.
Just some thoughts I wanted to share. Wow, I really complicate this life don’t I!
And in closing a word from our sponsor: “You know this livings not as hard as it seems.” – Jack Johnson

I Love Africa!

At the moment BBC Africa is running a series of essays entitled “Why I love Africa”. Mmmm… I read through some of them and they made me smile. They made me wonder why I love Africa. So allow me for a brief while to tell you why I love Africa.

I love Africa because of the potent smell of rain before the first thunderstorm after the dry season. The first sweet drops that melt into the scorching, powdery dusty earth, right before the storm. I love that all Africans understand that this is not just rain but a promise of good days ahead. I love the grandeur, the wild elegance of the bush and peaceful chaos of the market places and urban centers. I love the colors of Africa, even the fact that people don’t dress up in black to go to funerals. I love the details of African culture, the hundreds of languages and different tribes. I love that old people are respected and honored. I love that the community makes decisions together and an individual can never be lonely in such a huge continent. I love the grand African sky and vast space. I love the rivers and oceans, mountains and beaches. I love that words like majestic and magnificent finally find their place in this world when they are used to describe Africa.

But most of all I love the laugh of Africa. I love the laughing faces and waving arms of the little children on the street. I love the energetic roar of the young men at football(soccer) games and their boisterous antics to impress the young girls who in turn respond with shy hesitant smiles and giggles. I love the consistent, deep laugh of the old people who have lived long hard lives but know true joy. I love that Africans know the face of extreme suffering and grieving and yet are still able to laugh and smile coz the sun still shines in Africa. Man, I love Africa. A million more words wouldn’t be enough to tell you how much I love Africa.

Personal preference...I just wanted to clear something up.

This last week I found myself caught up in that strange and surprisingly heated discussion with single people regarding preferences of the opposite sex. It’s not all bad…its that convo you only really have when you feel safe with people of the opposite sex. In a very cool way its this safe honest, I want your opinion on this heart topic kinda convo.

Personal preference? Some call it a wish list, some call it a standard, and others call it the keys to attraction. Some have stuck by it since that “True Love Waits” conference they went to in Junior High, others have abandoned it in desperation and others concluded it idealistic and ridiculous. Mmm…whatever you want to call it I desperately want to say that it’s all bogus…. Except that I can’t because this annoying ridiculousness has messed with my own precious heart. Weirdly I can’t help but admit that we are wired with this invisible heart “wow” that mysteriously but magnetically draws us to another person. Whether it be, those big beautiful eyes, flowing locks or that mad smile, there is something that ignites that part of us that men far more eloquent than myself have done a poor job trying to describe.

Mmmm…. Yet somehow in all this I can’t help but be frustrated by the fact that this thing, this need for the “wow” in us to echo might take on far more priority than it deserves. Something in me just doesn’t believe that being raised on movie after movie of Hollywood love and tragically romantic secular lyrics, that I have not been affected by fake versions of this God gift.
All I am saying is, I just find it hard to believe that perhaps my wish list, standard, preferences are NOT as God honoring as I perhaps have convinced myself they are. I just don’t see them holding water for the long haul. There must be something more foundational, more solid, that if my wish list were washed away after the fact…"we” would still stand.
Yet who will challenge Disney fantasy love? Where are the voices screaming out how this REALLY is supposed to work? Why are all the married people who have apparently figured it out so SILENT… and then ridiculously cliché when they do speak.
I swear, in the words of Dr.Evil, "someone throw me freaking bone here". I’m not moaning or complaining….whatever…maybe I am, but I just needed to clear up my lame 2cents worth from the other night. Or have I just muddied the water more?

Relative?

“They will see it on the evening news, say how terrible it is. Shrug their shoulders and go back to eating their diner.” (from the movie Hotel Rwanda)

“It’s all relative”. I used to say this all the time. Living in third world Africa and living here are two extremes. Hunger, poverty, suffering, etc all seemed to be relative. I used to say that. I even lead a Bible study on the compassion of Christ and God’s heart for the poor, unwilling to compare the urban poor of America with the poor of Africa. “It’s all relative”.
But is it?
Really? What does that mean anymore. As the globe shrinks we must admit its not all relative. The world is so small and the suffering across the ocean really are just the suffering across the pond. Our neighbors truly are next door. The readiness and speediness of humanitarian aid doesn’t leave us incapable of helping. Why is it that more than a billion of my neighbors are chronically hungry and I’m trying to diet? Something is desperately wrong. I guess I’m not trying to answer or debate, explain or condemn. I guess I’m just feeling comfortable being uncomfortable with the fact that something really, really is wrong and I need to do something more than go back to eating diner.


"In the scriptures we are not advised to love our neighbor, we are commanded. The Church needs to lead the way here, not drag its heels...But I tell you, God is not looking for alms; God is looking for action.  He is not just looking for our loose change--He's looking for a tighter contract between us and our neighbor."
-Bono U2

New Years Revolution

Music: Citizen Cope
Reading: Rich Christians In an Age of Hunger
Weather: North Pole

Here is something that dawned on me while I was in the center of the world.
Seriously, being in New York at the turn of the year is one of those “must do’s” I was told I must do. And so I did it. I was there, in this time of great jubilation, at Time Squares 100th Anniversary, arguably one of mankind’s greatest celebrations.
…And there I was, struggling to fully celebrate. I mean, I should have been more than excited right? I’m a big-crowd-kinda-guy, it wasn’t cold; I was with my wingman the Apostate Paul, unarguably one of mankind’s greatest men. And in between the dance-a-thons, where we shook our booties to some classic vibes, I got to read one of the greatest books of 2004…wait not a good book, a great book. (Searching for God Knows What- Don Millers new ramblings).

And so I should have been fine right…Mmmm… yet inside of me there was this hesitation, this yearning for more, this subtle feeling of discomfort of soul. Do you know what I mean? Not that my expectations were unsatisfied. No, not that. It wasn’t even though I was missing someone. It was as though I couldn’t fully engage. Sometimes I’m like that in a group of people. There is this very real hesitation in me that withdraws to observe. An almost out of body experience that automatically chooses to look on, rather then participate.

I think this is what I observed; as the hours towards midnight lingered, I realized in conversation that many people around me were there just to be able to say “they were there.” How awful that we are like that. Was this experience to be had, really just for Monday morning bragging rights and so feeling we are adding value to ourselves or was it to be richly enjoyed in that moment? I fear the former. How sad that many of us live our whole lives like this. Living for Monday morning bragging rights. It happens in all shapes and sizes. Buying stuff we don’t need to impress people we don’t like. Working jobs we can’t stand to pay for lifestyles we don’t even enjoy. And so we slowly kill our souls. In our freedom loving times we still walk around with the invisible shackles of “impressing others”, “looking good” and “being successful.”

Nina Simone sings a song “I wish I knew how it would feel to be free” and she goes on to sing “I wish I could live like I’m longin’ to live.” That totally resonates with my soul. Man, I wish I could be free from all that’s slowly killing me. All this kind of crap. I wish I truly knew what it means to be free. I fully believe this is all part of the freedom that Jesus lived and died for me.
New Years Revolution: #1 Be Free.

Jesus said, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”